Fear and Waiting

When I found out I was pregnant with my son I was so happy and I knew that in 9 months I was going to have a little baby to hold in my arms. Then the doctor told me I was a "high risk pregnancy". The term high risk automatically sends a shiver down any pregnant woman's spine. So you talk to your doctor more than you would talk to your friends to make sure you are doing everything you can to give your baby a chance. I did everything I was asked by the doctors and my care team to ensure that my baby would have the best chance, but that is not always enough. To explain a little better... my son was born at 34 weeks (6 weeks premature) after going into labor at 16 weeks, 23 weeks, 27 weeks and finally at 33 1/2 weeks (ending up in the hospital on labor stalling medications for 4 days). I then went on to get pregnant again with my angel Lily, and at 19 weeks 6 days I had premature rupture of membranes and ended up delivering. She was sustained for 5 mins. I cannot describe the fear that comes with even thinking about being pregnant ever again. It is a mixture of wondering if you will ever be able to sustain a pregnancy long enough to deliver and the fear of not knowing how premature the next baby will be. My biggest worry is that I know there are no resources that tell you how to deal with being a high risk pregnancy unless you are on bed rest. Through my own experiences I have come up with a few things that every woman labeled high risk can do.

1. Talk with your doctors and nurses and be honest about EVERYTHING... If they don't know they can't help.

2. Start a blog or a journal... do anything that helps you get your feelings out.

3. RESEARCH... This one is a biggie... Do research on your condition and if it is more likely than not that you will deliver prematurely research NICU's in your area... Find out which one is closest and which is the best... Survival rates ARE important... Many people told me when I was pregnant with my angel that survival rates at different hospitals aren't important because the hospital you go to will "ship" you to the best hospital for you to have your preemie... WRONG!!

4. Have a good support system... this can be friends, family, social workers... ANYBODY that would help to have around if the worst happens.

5. Even though it is VERY stressful try to do things that reduce your stress.

OK... there's my list... I hope this has helped at least one person... that was my goal.

Don't know if any of it is true, but it will make you smile

Proof That The World Is Nuts

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
(Like THAT makes sense.)

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In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

(Do they look different reversed?)

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Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

(A brick?)

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The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

(Much worse than 'going blind!')

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There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

(Let's just think for a minute; is there
any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

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In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

(Ah! Justice!)

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Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores.

(But of course!)

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In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

(Makes one shudder at the thought.)

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In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

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In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only 'in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.'

(Is this a great country or what?
Well, not as great as Guam!)

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Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Who volunteers for these tests?)

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The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of?) (Did our government pay for this research??)

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Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Ah, geez.)

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An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)

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Starfish don't have brains

(I know some people like that, too.)

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And, the best for last?Turtles can breathe through their butts.

(And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)

Clouded feeling

Rain is the life blood of our earth. If there was just sunshine we would never see the amazing and wonderous natural fireworks that thunderstorms provide us. So why do we wish it away? We care so much for our outdoor enjoyment yet we wish the rain will end. We would have no flowers or trees or wildlife to provide the enjoyment of the outdoors. Remember when you were a child and you rolled in the soft grass. That would not be possible with no rain. With no clouds for shade we would be too hot and with no rainstorms to take the heavy humidity we would surely melt under it's weight. We should no longer teach our children to dislike the rain. We should teach them to embrace it. Take your children out to play during a summer rain. Get muddy and play joyfully. They shall then see that it is all part of a wonderous nature that we must be grateful for and not upset about. Children are willing to accept anything that you teach them and when we teach them to embrace their surroundings no matter the weather they will turn out to be more grateful and joyful adults.

Sleepless night

Trying to find reason and understanding in the world. This world full of those that would rather hate another than to live another's life for even a moment. To hate what you do not know is called fear. When you hate what you do not know you will never have the chance to see life in all it's glory and riches. To truly experience all that is good in life we need to be open to others and their experiences as well as share ours. We need to go outside our own comfort zone and do something new as much as possible. We may never know the true meaning to life but at least let us find understanding of others that share it with us.

Flower in the darkness

A plant stands withered and alone encompassed in darkness almost unrecognizable as a simple flower. It is passed by with no second glances. Longing for sun not seen. Dreaming of the warmth and light that the sun brought before the darkness took over both the day and night. There used to be a difference. There was happiness in the sun. Now there is sadness, emptiness and such all engrossing lonliness in the deep depths of the darkness. Yet the flower still holds on hoping for the sun to return. The final dew drop falls from the final petal. Yet the flower still clings to life and hope that it will soon be in the uplifting embrace of the sun. As the final petal falls the flower gives it's last attempt at life. It then fades into the darkened corner of it's existance and hides away to never see the sun again. When the sun returns all it shall find is this small withered piece of plant. No longer the beautiful flower it was when the sun last caressed it's tender petals and leaves as it has no life and no hope left within.